Excuses, excuses, excuses

So I have been on a bit of a hiatus... I could give you a list of excuses like I have done in the past for why AGAIN....Monday never came....you know what I mean: "I'll start my new diet "Monday". So here it is....

My list of excuses:

my in-laws were in town
it was Easter
I'm still breastfeeding
I didn't go to whole foods, so we have nothing "good" to eat
I need to get organized before I start
I need to make a schedule
I need to join the new gym
I want to wait for the weight loss contest that's coming up
....I could go on.....
I went out of town
the kids were on spring break
the baby has been waking up again in the night and I am tired
its been cold
its been hot (gotta love Michigan... I can use them both!!)
BUT HERE IT IS......the REAL reason is...........

I DON'T WANT TO FAIL

Sooooo you see, if I never start, then there is no failure...BUT that is where I have it totally wrong. Because I am failing everyday that I let myself stay at an unhealthy weight, everyday that I make the wrong food and activity choices, everyday that I put it off just one more "Monday"..... these are shortening my life....taking away experiences I could be having, but instead I am choosing the safe route, the route I am use to...the one that leads me to the couch with some take out all the while watching a weight loss reality show....
I'm the girl who always SAYS she is going to do it, but NEVER DOES.
I think that is what I'm hoping this blog will do... keep me accountable. I also have to understand what I'm wanting to do is a life long process. I can't change my ways for 6 months then go right back to my old habits...otherwise it will be all for nothing. This is a forever commitment and that is SCARY. But its something I have to get over and just DO!!!!!
So as the all wise Yoda says: "Do or do not....there is no try"

Here is a parting pic of me and my babies!!!!

Awesome article

Below is an excerp from Jen Curran who lost over 100 pounds.


Over the years, friends and family have asked me, "If you could share one piece of advice with someone who has a lot of weight to lose, what would you say?" My answer is always this. I'd tell them, "It's possible." That's something you've got to firmly believe if you're going to succeed at losing a lot of weight.

Besides that, here are a few common sense reminders that will help you get started:

1. Baby steps are the key. Rome wasn't built in a day, you're not going to drop 50 pounds overnight. Nor are you going to become a health freak, a fitness guru, or a calorie-counting master in just a few days. Trust yourself to make small but measurable changes that you don't mind living today, and that you can see yourself continuing to practice in the future. You'll be surprised how quickly the baby steps will add up to major weight loss.

2. Take a walk. Just 10 minutes at first, but make a commitment to move a little bit more every single day. If you have 100 pounds to lose, you are living a lifestyle that supports that weight. So start with baby steps and change that lifestyle one 10-minute walk around the block at a time.

3. Don't change what you're eating at first. Just change how much. Of course, avoid fried foods, when possible. And limit your sugar intake when you can. But more than that stuff, it's important that you just practice eating a little bit less at first. You can eventually build up to substituting a few healthier choices during each meal, reaching for fruit when you want a snack, choosing whole grains over empty calories. It takes time to learn those rules though, so be patient with yourself, collect your facts and just practice not cleaning your plate in the meantime.

4. Talk ! Communicate with someone, or a bunch of people, about what you're experiencing. Support aides with weight loss. Period.

5. Choose a healthy approach. Weight Watchers worked for me, but I believe many programs and philosophies can get you there. Because we are all hardwired differently, we will all respond differently to a variety of approaches. Some people need fewer options and more rules, some people like to have more control, others of us need flexibility. As long as you're not restricting any food groups, over-exercising or under-eating, the approach that speaks to you is the right one. (Please consult your doctor for specific advice on how to choose a weight loss method.)

Good luck! You CAN do this. It won't always be easy, nor will it always be fun. But it's possible. Just remember, it's so much harder to be uncomfortable in your own skin and unable to fit into your clothes than it is to put in some effort and end up looking and feeling fabulous.

Sabotage?

I heard an interesting fact today.....
{your friends HATE when you are on a diet!}
Why? Because it makes THEM feel guilty about THEIR OWN choices if you are making healthy ones. CRAZY HUH!!!
But I'm sure a lot of you can relate...I know I can! I have those friends who are always choosing water over a margarita (that's a hard one) Salmon over the heaping plate of gooey nachos, passing on dessert...they go to the gym for fun or when they're bored....the list goes on. You almost feel resentful of them or think they are no fun. When did it become "no fun" to fuel our bodies with healthy alternatives?? We should be praising these people and trying to be more like them not trying to tempt or even sabotaging them.
A funny...but evil story my husband told me kind of relates to this:
At work his coworker discovered these absolutely DELICIOUS but SINFULLY caloric coffee drinks from BIGGBY Coffee. Well, he brought one to work, my husband tried it and thought it was amazing...until he revealed that it had 900 calories in it!!!!! One of the ladies, Patti, who is like most of us girls....usually watching what she eats, tried it as well. She thought it was so yummy, but knew it must be horrible...so John says, oh, well they have a nonfat version, I'll bring you one next time. So the next day John brings Patti one of these iced drinks, but gives her the FULL FAT 900 cal one and thinks its HILARIOUS. She drank the WHOLE thing before he told her. Now WHY would he do this? He is known as the office clown but why...I mean 900 calories??? For a woman that is 2/3 or MORE of your whole DAYS worth of calories. I really think a lot of men don't quite get it? Or maybe because he is one of those people that can eat a package of nutty bars everyday (yes...he really does this) and not gain anything. MOST of us however are not so lucky.
So I guess the point to this is really that we should be more supportive of people who are trying to do the right thing...its already hard enough not to eat that decadent cupcake staring you in the face....we don't need someone eating 5 right next to us telling us how tasty they are and that we should try just one bite. It should be the other way around...we should start pressuring non dieters into making better choices! Hey...if they can do it....SO CAN WE!!!!!

Love,

Kyla

Did I really???

Did I really post my weight for all of the world to see??? Did I really get completely honest with myself and lay everything on the line?
I can't stop thinking about the fact I came clean and said out loud just how much I really weigh. I have this nervous anxious feeling that people are laughing at me. I haven't connected this blog to my personal one yet for fear that someone I actually know will read it and know my secret(not that you couldn't look at me or see me in a picture and not be able to tell I need to lose a few...err...a lot, of pounds)
I feel very nervous coming out with this...but its something I NEED to do...I NEED to get real with myself and STOP pretending everything is ok and keep gaining and gaining. My motivation is not just so I can get in all those cute clothes I haven't been able to wear in forever, or to not cringe everytime I see myself in a picture, not even to get rid of my second chin I affectionately call my gobbler....ok, maybe these all are motivation as well...........but mainly I am ready tobe heathly, lead a more active life, play with my kids more, live longer. I can do this!

Love,

Kyla

Here we GO!

Hi welcome to my new blog all about the trials and tribulations of that pesky thing called weight loss. I am a 30 year old mother of three wonderful babies, Kaden, my oldest son- age 7, Kara, my middle darling daughter- age 6, and Dominic, my bouncing baby boy- age 2mo. I am the wife to a great man, Joe, who is my love, my support, and has made it possible for me to be a full time mommy. I am the chef, the chauffeur, the maid, the booger wiper, the boo-boo kisser, as well as the human pacifier. But as much as I LOVE playing all these rolls....somewhere along the way I lost sight of just being Kyla.

After giving birth to my latest and greatest, I saw a picture of myself, and that's when it really hit me ...sadly I am FAT!!! I kept seeing the number on the scale all the while thinking I was just one of those people who looked way skinnier than the number on the scale reflected. I would watch the show biggest looser and think, there is no way SHE weighs THAT!!!! That is close to MY weight and she still looks HUGE! For some reason I had the opposite body image that a lot of people seem to have (including myself at a younger age) I let my mind think I was skinnier than I actually was. Therefore thinking... I only need to lose a couple pounds, I'm not THAT bad. Well, I have finally come to terms that I am nearly 60 pounds overweight.....60 POUNDS????? How did this happen? How did I LET this happen???What could I have done differently?

In the last couple of weeks, while trying to decide if I'm really ready to do this,I have realized a few things about myself:
1. I LOVE FOOD....I think food is wonderful, all kinds...I put food on a pedestal. TONS of our activities are centered around food... going out to eat with friends, family gatherings, entertainment when there is nothing else to do. Food is EVERYTHING to me.....you go to the movies for the yummy buttery popcorn,you go to the fair for funnel cakes, you go to a baseball game for the hot dog and beer. Even trips we would take would be all about food....my husband and I went to New York and instead of an itinerary that read the usual: Statue of Liberty, Times square,Rockefeller center.... ours was: lunch at Wo Hop, snack at Sabretts, dinner at Nobu, dessert at labella Ferrara
2. I AM LAZY.... I have a gym membership...do I go??? noooo! And WHY don't I go you might ask??? Well, I have a whole SLEW of excuses: I have no time, I get all sweaty and have to take another shower, I can't leave the baby, I'm too tired....list list goes on and on.
3. I have EMOTIONAL BAGGAGE. Baggage that has brought my self-worth to an all time low, baggage that I need to work through before I can possibly do this. You see I got married the first time around at a far too young of an age to a far too demeaning and controlling man. I weighed 125 when we met at age 18, we were engaged by the time I was 19 and married just days after my 20th birthday. I remember two instances that scar my self image still to this day. One of which was after we had been dating for sometime, somehow we had gotten on the subject of our first impressions of each other. This is when he confessed that he thought I was really pretty, if only my thighs weren't so big. Well this immediately sent me to tears.... we all have those things we wish we could change about ourselves, well this was my "thing" I had always HATED my thighs. I always wanted those long sleek sexy legs, but at 5'3 and a half (yes....my fellow short girls understand...the half is VERY important) I wasn't blessed with these legs. I have a very athletic build with short legs that are bulky with muscle.And no matter how skinny I am,my thighs never go away. To me this statement reinforced every negative feeling I had ever thought about them though. For every good thought my mom ever tried to put in my head, he erased them ALL. Another time, we were at the pharmacy where they had one of those stupid "are you the right weight" scales. Now, I HATE scales, I always have...even at an appropriate weight I never weighed in front of anyone. He put his quarter in, weighed himself...of course no surprises there..he was Mr. six pack, eat whatever you want, never gain an ounce guy. However then he started pressuring ME to get on the scale...not only in front of him... but in PUBLIC!!! I didn't want to,but he made me. I weighed 138...I was devastated! I hadn't weigh myself in so long...I had held true to the old "freshman 15" saying. I was upset and embarrassed, I felt insecure and ugly and those feelings were confirmed by my soon to be husband. Instead of being positive and saying you're beautiful, I love you, lets start being more active and before you know it those few pounds will be gone..... he made a shocked face, then a disgusted face and said he wasn't gonna marry a girl who could almost wear HIS jeans. I should have known then and there that this was a guy NOT to marry...but...live and learn, right?
I endured 6 years of marriage FULL of mental abuse. By the time I found out I was pregnant with my first child at 23, I was 150. I only gained 23 lbs, but this sent my weight soaring. Before I had even a millisecond to think about loosing the baby weight... I got pregnant with my second when Kaden was only 8 weeks old. Another 25 or so pounds and I had almost creeped up to the 200 pounds mark. A year and a half later and our marriage was over and I was about 175-180lbs. Through the divorce I lost 15-20 lbs, partly due to stress and partly due to the giant weight of unhappiness being lifted off my shoulders, and was down to 160. I started dating Joe, and things were SOOOOO different! We married a year later and THIS time the pounds came on out of happiness and being comfortable knowing that my husband thought I was beautiful no matter what. I went back up to 180, then 185, 190,...and finally 192...I remember the number vividly! I FREAKED,the most I had weighed EVER...even pregnant!!!! I joined the gym the next day, worked out HARD and ate right for 2 weeks and got down to 188...then found out I was preggers AGAIN. Nine months later and I was tipping the scales at 211 lbs....200 and 11 POUNDS.... my LORD!!!! I gave birth to my beautiful baby boy Jan 17, he is 10 weeks old as I start my journey. Amazingly enough, I lost every single pound of my baby weight plus one already and I didn't do a thing to lose it...just breastfeeding.
I am starting my journey at 187....my journey to finally win the war against myself. I am the only one holding myself back. I CAN DO THIS!
Stay tuned for an explanation of what lifestyle changes I am making...including diet as well as exercise...in addition to daily updates...and YES I will post before pics and will show updates throughout my loss!
If any of you out there are in the same boat as me...you lost track of you, and packed on the pounds....start TODAY, do this for yourself. Lets do it together!!! I would love your support and encouragement and I hope I can be an inspiration and motivation to you! You are worth it!!!!